Not So “Tweet” Reactions…
We live in a reactionary culture; in church, politics, sports, and just about everything in-between. The firing of ESPN’s headline writer Anthony Federico is the latest example of this.
I am the problem. Here is why.
After New York Knicks’ Jeremy Lin’s first loss as a starter, Federico wrote that there was a “Chink in the chain”. Jeremy Lin is of Taiwanese descent so to me and many others, the headline was cutesy racism that went overboard and it just made me mad. Here was my reaction on twitter the morning after reading (from other media sources) about the ESPN headline issue:
This was my reaction. Instead it was just a ”reaction to a reaction” because all I did was pay attention to what everyone else was saying, especially the media, civil rights groups, etc. I joined an online mob.
The ESPN headline writer was fired soon that day. I learned that Headline writers like Frederico have to come up with quick headlines every few minutes. Federico claimed that it was an “honest mistake”. Saturday Night Live did a great job with their sketch highlighting the hypocrisy of who can say what about races and get away with it.
Messages like mine are what puts ESPN in a position to fire someone without learning more and listening to all sides about why this happened. ESPN acted in cowardly fear. They were wrong and I was wrong. Who gets hurt? A promising young career is knocked down in the form of Anthony Federico, the 26-year-old who posted this headline. Anthony Federico issued this incredible apology after he was fired by ESPN. Read it here. I was impressed with his candor, thoughtfulness, regret, but also a helpful explanation about how it happened. He happens to be a Christian, which is relevant because I understand more about why he did this. Jeremy Lin is also a prominent Christian, which makes the media firestorm even worse.
After reading Anthony Federico’s response, it caused me to look deep in the mirror. I failed. I reacted. I was lazy and didn’t take the time to understand all sides of this story. I can think of dozens and dozens of instances where I have jumped to conclusion too quickly and people got hurt. Most of the time I was wrong and should know better. What I learned today is that I should have more of the character of Anthony Federico. I’ll leave you with his words:
My solace in this is that ‘all things work together for good for those who love the Lord.’ I praise God equally in the good times and the bad times.
Anthony, I am sorry. You don’t deserve this. We all owe you this apology. Please forgive us all.
Follow Anthony on twitter, he seems like a great guy. @antfeds
Being There as a Father in the October Sky
There is a handful of movies that no matter where I am in life they just inspire me. And I learn something new from them every time I watch them. I think of movies I’ve written about before like Dead Poet’s Society, A River Runs Through It, Big Fish. In addition, I would also put Chariots of Fire and Finding Forrester in that category. There are so many more, but the latest reminder on that list is the movie, October Sky. Watch the quick trailer below to get the overview but when I first watched the movie in theater was 1999 and I took the inspiration like anyone one; a young individual trying to go after their dreams. In this case it is Homer, the main character, and he has the aspiration to be a rocket scientist while growing up in a coal mining community. Oil and vinegar, right?
So what does one learn now?
I focused on the breakdown and re-engagement of the father. The father-son relationship struggle is the most powerful theme that resonates with me more than ever now because I am a father. I don’t have a son but I have two daughters and and I still take away the lessons of needing good communication for a healthy family relationship.
I took the time to do some quick research and found that roughly 25 million children grow up without a father in the United States alone. Thank God men are leading the way to combat this statistic. There are people I admire like Donald Miller who started up a group to help kids without fathers called The Mentoring Project. There also amazing organizations like All Pro Dad that exist to encourage dads.
The week after I graduated from high school, I embarked on a Colorado hiking trip with a group of friends and a few of our dads. I remember asking my dad months before if he could join us. He was then General Manager of a big company and with it came a the weight of incredible stress. I knew it would be highly unlikely for him to join but I still hoped he would. When he told me a week or so later that he was was in, I was ecstatic. The experience was unforgettable and we talk about it till this day. Father’s Day took place during our week long hike which made it even more special. We brought home scars, lost some toenails, even lost some pounds, but ultimately brought home life long memories.
A few months later my father lost his job. During that trip I learned his boss had a issue with not being able to reach him. This was before cell phones could get decent reach and apparently it was too much for his boss. Dad never let me know much about those pressures but it happened. He lost his job. There was good in it, though. It served as a catalyst to push him back into the career he loved, banking. He served small businesses and remained committed to rebuilding communities in St. Louis until retiring a few years ago.
But he still took me on that adventure. He understood the risk and most importantly, he was there.
In October Sky, the final scene brings tears to my eyes every time. The main character, Homer is prepared to launch his final rocket as a thank you to those who helped him. As Homer spoke to the crowd that assembled, he thanked his friends, his math teacher, his mother, etc. But last Homer dedicated it to his father who throughout his passion of launching rockets was never there. But this time he was. His father was there. Alas, his father engaged and the rocket took off. The scene ends with the father’s arm embracing his son as they watched the rocket soar into the sky.
For my father and I, our rocket took off. We went hiking and looked up together and saw beautiful mountains. God’s country.
You may not have a father in your life. I can understand that the pain may be deep. But you have the opportunity to build upon it and be the parent you’re meant to be. If you don’t want to be a parent you can still help those who need one.
We can do it together and start by being there.
Shaking Hands with the Enemy
Imagine crashing in the ocean in a B-24. You drift thousands of miles with two others for weeks. Sharks try to eat you. You are strafed (shot at) by the enemy. On top of that you are captured by the Japanese. Nonstop torture ensues for two years. When the war ends in 1945 you are released and lose half your body weight due to being starved and beaten.
5 years later…
Read this scene after the person, Louie Zamperini, who endured what I described above revisits his POW camp in Japan.
“Before Louie left Sugamo (the prison), the colonel who was attending him asked Louie’s former guards to come forward. In the back of the room, the prisoners stood up and shuffled into the aisle. They moved hesitantly, looking up at Louie with small faces.
Louie was seized by childlike, giddy exuberance. Before he realized what he was doing, he was bounding down the aisle. In bewilderment, the men who had abused him watched him come to them, his hands extended, a radiant smile on his face.” – excerpted from Unbroken copyright 2010 by Laura Hillenbrand.
After I read this I couldn’t believe his reaction.
He shook hands with the enemy.
What Zamperini experienced was beyond what anyone should endure. And what did he do?
He extended his hand.
He forgave.
Grace appeared and Jesus is revealed in his story. Let us take notice. It is beautiful.
The Toughest Job In The World
I’ve double-bag caddied for 36 holes on 100 degree days.
I’ve worked 70 hour weeks in the office.
I’ve mowed a dozen lawns in one day.
But, there is nothing that could have prepared me enough for the toughest job in the world…
Parenting.
These past few days my wife Brooke has been out of town thus entrusting our two and a half year old and 11 month old to my so called capable hands. I’ll admit that I have had help as my mother is a saint for coming in town to help. In these past two days we have looked at each other and said “How does Brooke do it?”
There have been moments I have been proud of this weekend. There has also been times that I’ve had to ask forgiveness of my mother by stressing out and taking things out on her. I have to do that often to my wife as well so my poor mom is taking it for the team. Hey even Clark Griswold got to lose it here and there in National Lampoon’s Vacation.
I can only come up with one conclusion.
It is time to lighten up and enjoy this process.
I thoroughly love my kids and the being a dad no matter how hard it can be sometimes. This weekend we’ve gone to the pool twice, taken fun walks with our dog Winston, ran around the yard, made up a small inflated pool on our deck, created art, listened to music, ran around the mall, and yes I confess we even watched a little of the PGA Championships and a St. Louis Cardinals game. This is just part of the dad life I suppose and I’m still getting used to it.
I’d propose an end to trying to do this parenting thing alone. Even if you are divorced raising children, you are still not alone. The earlier we admit that we can’t do it all and all of it perfectly, the better off we will be. The more we rely on friends, family, and God to take care of us and give us patience, creativity, and forgiveness, the more fun we will have. I am ready.
If you are single reading this or are married without kids just watch and observe the parents out there. Learn from their mistakes, learn from their successes. Parents can’t imagine life without kids, it’s an adventure.
Both kids are taking naps as I write this by the way. Why am I not napping? Yep, because there is always something to do.
I’d love to hear some of your parenting stories and lessons. How do you get through the hardest days?
PS If you need a good piece of entertainment as a married couple with kids, watch Date Night with Tina Fey and Steve Carell. Last but not least if you didn’t catch the “The Dad Life” video, you’ll love this.
A Case for Unity during The World Cup
Yes, it’s that time. It only happens every four years. Yes, it’s the World Cup. What do they call it? Soccer? Football?
Who cares, right?
Check this out first.
4 billion people will watch. The Super Bowl averages around 100-110 million. The Olympics averages around 247 million daily viewers.
The 2006 final between Italy and France attracted 715.1 million viewers, the largest single television event in history from what I’ve learned. The 2006 World Cup attracted a 26.29 billion non-unique viewers.
No comparison.
If you are an American reading this, you still may ask “Who Cares?”
Well to start, USA is a big underdog. Countries with populations 1/10 the size of ours are picked to do better than us. On June 12th, USA will face England for the first time in 60 years in a World Cup. And yes, we beat them then! In the USA, we are overwhelmed by so many sport choices so what is the big deal with soccer? I grew up playing the game and continue to follow it as best as possible despite living in a town without a professional team. The passion is there.
Years ago, I lived in Scotland and became friends with a German who was traveling there named Tobi. We stayed in touch and I even visited him in Germany later that year. We agreed to meet up to travel through the UK again a couple years after that. Along that journey with other friends we met an amusing British guy named Curtis. We all stayed in touch after our travels and agreed that the next time we’d meet would be in Germany 3 years later for the World Cup. I became married in those years to Brooke and so the four of us traveled throughout Germany and we were fortunate enough to see Togo play South Korea. It was an unbelievable experience and I cherish every part of it to this day. The World Cup was what unified us that year. Thank God our teams didn’t play each other, though. But, on June 12th, Curtis and I most likely be speaking during that game. Ultimately we all will be friends and are looking toward 2014 in Brazil to meet up again.
We begin our journey to Germany
A German, an American, and a Crazy Brit
The Scene
So far, this is the best video I’ve found capturing the spirit of the World Cup.
It’s not just about the World Cup. It’s about the connection of cultures, making friends, and enjoying the adventure.
You may not play soccer and may never want to but you can’t deny what this sport has done as a bridge for cultures.
There are so many ways to use sport to connect and heal the wounds. In Nashville alone here are a few:
Sports Servants: A great friend of mine Zac Hood took the courageous step to start up a Non-Profit called Sports Servants in 2005. Zac recognized early on in his visits to Belize that the one unifying thing he could get kids to enjoy together was sport, and in particular, soccer. It is what has brought together villages across northern Belize to enjoy. Cultures have been brought together by this tremendous gift.
Nashville International Cup: Annually, a group meets comprised of Mexicans, Arabians, Hispanics, Kurdish, Sub Saharan Africans, Bantus, Asians, etc. to play a tournament. 90 players from 14 countries. These are immigrants and some of them refugees coming to America for a better life. It’s amazing because many of these people were enemies back home but are able to come together for the love of a common game. This takes place today and tomorrow.
World Relief: A friend of mine, Karen Barnes volunteers with this tremendous group here in Nashville that provides assistance to immigrants and refugees. You can read more about Karen’s experience in her blog about “Serving Refugees.” If you take a moment to look around your town, you will discover dozens of nationalities around you who need assistance.
So this next month, use The World Cup as a way in your community to connect with people other than your nationality. Learn about their lives, invite them over for a meal, and if you will, go play a game on the pitch.
Here are a few other fun resources in celebration of The World Cup:
Top soccer Movies I’d recommend: The Game of Their Lives/Miracle Match, Victory, Green Street Hooligans, Bend it like Beckham, or Fever Pitch. There are many more but these always bring a smile.
Last but not least, the latest blog from Stuff White People Like will have you on the floor.
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