The Big Fish Irrational Life
Recently my friend Nathan Martin shared with me an obituary article about the man John Fairfax. Fairfax lived an extraordinary yet insane life filled with adventures rowing boats across the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, being a pirate (yes a pirate), living in the Amazon, and playing professional baccarat like James Bond. The article’s writer said it best, “He crossed the Atlantic because it was there, and the Pacific because it was also there.” Read his amazing obituary here. Fairfax seemed like quite a lost person but his sense of adventure and imagination is what inspires me most. If he were alive today, Mark Burnett or another reality show producer would be begging to follow and record his life.
So why do these crazy things?
Fairfax describes why in context of his rowing adventures.
“I’m after a battle with nature, primitive and raw.”
Fairfax reminds me of the movie Big Fish, one of my top 5 inspirational movies. It has so many lessons in it and the main character Edward Bloom is probably related somehow to John Fairfax.
Edward Bloom’s son shares about his father’s immortal life,
In telling the story of my father’s life, it’s impossible to separate fact from fiction, the man from the myth. The best I can do is to tell it the way he told me. It doesn’t always make sense and most of it never happened… but that’s what kind of story this is.

It’s easy to dismiss a life like Edward Bloom’s in Big Fish. Edward learned early about his purpose.
It occurred to me then, that perhaps the reason for my growth was I was intended for larger things. After all, a giant man can’t have an ordinary-sized life.
The movie is a reminder that we are all meant for big things in God’s eyes. I want to be remembered for having taken risks and gone on great adventures like John Fairfax or Edward Bloom. Perhaps I yearn for these adventures with a little more purpose to them and do them in a way to help others. Maybe at the end of life, those irrational experiences will actually be my reality, which is in God’s hands. My practical challenge to you is to start with a bucket list and write out 100 amazing things you want to do/experience before you die. I did this when I was 20 and have been keeping track of it since. Go one step further to describe why you will do each item and what the achievement will mean to you and others.
Have you ever imagined your funeral and what would be written in your obituary?
What would they say?
What stories would they tell?
Being There as a Father in the October Sky
There is a handful of movies that no matter where I am in life they just inspire me. And I learn something new from them every time I watch them. I think of movies I’ve written about before like Dead Poet’s Society, A River Runs Through It, Big Fish. In addition, I would also put Chariots of Fire and Finding Forrester in that category. There are so many more, but the latest reminder on that list is the movie, October Sky. Watch the quick trailer below to get the overview but when I first watched the movie in theater was 1999 and I took the inspiration like anyone one; a young individual trying to go after their dreams. In this case it is Homer, the main character, and he has the aspiration to be a rocket scientist while growing up in a coal mining community. Oil and vinegar, right?
So what does one learn now?
I focused on the breakdown and re-engagement of the father. The father-son relationship struggle is the most powerful theme that resonates with me more than ever now because I am a father. I don’t have a son but I have two daughters and and I still take away the lessons of needing good communication for a healthy family relationship.
I took the time to do some quick research and found that roughly 25 million children grow up without a father in the United States alone. Thank God men are leading the way to combat this statistic. There are people I admire like Donald Miller who started up a group to help kids without fathers called The Mentoring Project. There also amazing organizations like All Pro Dad that exist to encourage dads.
The week after I graduated from high school, I embarked on a Colorado hiking trip with a group of friends and a few of our dads. I remember asking my dad months before if he could join us. He was then General Manager of a big company and with it came a the weight of incredible stress. I knew it would be highly unlikely for him to join but I still hoped he would. When he told me a week or so later that he was was in, I was ecstatic. The experience was unforgettable and we talk about it till this day. Father’s Day took place during our week long hike which made it even more special. We brought home scars, lost some toenails, even lost some pounds, but ultimately brought home life long memories.
A few months later my father lost his job. During that trip I learned his boss had a issue with not being able to reach him. This was before cell phones could get decent reach and apparently it was too much for his boss. Dad never let me know much about those pressures but it happened. He lost his job. There was good in it, though. It served as a catalyst to push him back into the career he loved, banking. He served small businesses and remained committed to rebuilding communities in St. Louis until retiring a few years ago.
But he still took me on that adventure. He understood the risk and most importantly, he was there.
In October Sky, the final scene brings tears to my eyes every time. The main character, Homer is prepared to launch his final rocket as a thank you to those who helped him. As Homer spoke to the crowd that assembled, he thanked his friends, his math teacher, his mother, etc. But last Homer dedicated it to his father who throughout his passion of launching rockets was never there. But this time he was. His father was there. Alas, his father engaged and the rocket took off. The scene ends with the father’s arm embracing his son as they watched the rocket soar into the sky.
For my father and I, our rocket took off. We went hiking and looked up together and saw beautiful mountains. God’s country.
You may not have a father in your life. I can understand that the pain may be deep. But you have the opportunity to build upon it and be the parent you’re meant to be. If you don’t want to be a parent you can still help those who need one.
We can do it together and start by being there.
Big Fish and the Sea of Daffodils
I’ve not met many people who do not absolutely love the spring season.
Have you?
Spring offers far superior hope compared to a New Year’s resolution. It is beautiful. Spring represents rebirth of God’s creation here on earth. Color explodes. We leave our homes and head outside. The house is empty. It is glorious.
This past weekend, my oldest daughter (turning three this week) and I journeyed into our yard admiring the daffodils while giggling and chasing the chipmunks. Almost everything is new to my daughter. Her sense of being “alive to nature” perked me up. It was a wonderful weekend to venture out. Reality set in and Monday came. I had to head back to work knowing that I was going to be stuck in an office. While driving into work I passed by a field of beautiful yellow daffodils. I couldn’t help but remember this amazing scene from the movie Big Fish where Edward Bloom declares his love for his future wife amidst a sea of daffodils.
Big Fish is among my top 5 movies of all time. Here is why.
It is about “living the dream.”
We throw that phrase around sarcastically much too often and it becomes a throw away line. In life, we get stuck in the day to day reality so often that it hinders us from taking that odyssey or stepping into the sea of daffodils. Now we need to acknowledge reality but not be tamed by it. For Edward Bloom, the main character, it was about the drama of this adventure that he told so eloquently. He even got lost in the stories but the spirit of adventure was always there.
“A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.”-Will Bloom (Edward’s son)
Life is the adventure. Embrace it. Live it.
Get. Out. There. Now.
Ignore the excuses because life is too short. Whatever is holding you back, let go. Find a way. Ask for help. God made you creative so you can do it.
A friend and author I work with Phil Cooke posted this recently on twitter/facebook:
“Bob Dylan couldn’t sing. Picasso wasn’t good with color. T.S. Eliot had a day job. That didn’t stop them. What’s stopping you?”
It is Spring. It’s our chance. Let’s run out into the daffodils, Big Fish style and dive in.
What’s stopping you? Who’s in?





