My wife and I enjoy watching movies together, but sometimes it is hard to find something we both like. In my experience, men and women enjoy stories and art differently. Nevertheless, sometimes the sexes agree—and especially where a genre has something for both, like the American romantic comedy. Over time, my wife and I have found a few of these that we both love and will watch multiple times.
Every one of these romantic comedies has three elements that set it above the rest and help it to connect with men and women.
Well-written, witty humor
Bursts of action, with some physical comedy
Thoughtful interactions between men and women that lead the story toward love
Here are our top five romantic comedies that both men and women enjoy.
My wife and I loved this movie so much that we went back to the movie theater a second time to see it. It has some of the wittiest dialogue I’ve heard recently in film, and the laughs are doled out evenly between its male and female characters. And there is something wonderful and amusing about watching men fight over women.
Best quote: Ryan Gosling’s character Jacob has some of the best lines. In what follows, he is trying to coach Steve Carell’s middle-aged character on how to be a man.
I’m going to help you rediscover your manhood. Do you have any idea where you could have lost it?
I don’t know whether to help you or euthanize you.
Yes it has “princess” in it, but it also has everything you need: sword fighting, wit, love, and a cynical and fast-talking Sicilian! The Princess Bride has survived a quarter century and continues to be loved by many.
Best Quote: (I don’t think there is any man who doesn’t know this line.)
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Set in the late 80s, Say Anything has an excellent soundtrack and is a great cultural bridge to the 90s. Its director, Cameron Crowe, is one of the few male directors who has been able to connect men and women through his movies through Almost Famous, Elizabethtown, We Bought A Zoo, and Jerry Magwire. That is why he chose John Cusack to play Lloyd Dobler, the everyman. Every young man—every young person—will identify with Lloyd. We empathize with Lloyd Dobler. We cheer for him. We know (or can mumble) every word from Peter Gabriel’s song In Your Eyes because of Lloyd. Lloyd pursues the love of his life and inspires us to do the same.
I never thought a Harlequin-like story could be so appealing to men and women, but it sure is. Kathleen Turner’s excellent voice and Michael Douglas’s rough-and-wild personality take us on a great ride through drug-dealing Colombia. It is no wonder that Bob Zemeckis directed this classic.
Best quote: While Jack and Joan are trying to escape they find a crazy drug lord whom they think has a truck.
Joan Wilder: Can we get there in your car?
Juan: Who told you I had a car?
Joan: The men in the village.
Juan: They told you I had a car? They are such comedians. They meant my little mule: Pepe.
Here is another great Steve Carell performance but it is nowhere near complete without Tina Fey as his lovely, witty wife. It is easy for any married couple to relate to this movie and pick up on the wonderful details in the film. Brooke and I watch it each time and still laugh out loud.
Best quote:
If we are going to pay this much for crab it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid!
Honorable Mention
High Fidelity, Bull Durham, Lost in Translation, 10 Things I Hate About You, Tin Cup, Love Actually, Four Weddings and A Funeral, Elizabethtown, Jerry Magwire, Almost Famous, For Love of The Game, When Harry Met Sally, and pretty much any Judd Apatow film (although women may disagree with that)
What are your favorite romantic comedies that both you and your significant other can enjoy?
I believe that each moment in life requires a unique and inspirational movie. Other things can be inspirational. I find inspiration in life’s story, in my wife and kids, the Bible, hiking, traveling, or a great book. But nothing quite beats the perfect movie for life’s important moments. Movie heroes overcome great odds, and their stories inspire us to get up on our feet and do something spectacular!
Below is a list of my top ten inspirational films. I drew it up by narrowing down all the ones I could think of by category and then asking myself, “When I feel like (fill in blank), which movie will help?” The result is my arsenal of cinematic emotional motivators.
I hope it will also be helpful to you in your journey.
Top 10 Most Inspirational Movies
Big Fish (2003) (Living the dream, Pursuing the love of your life)
I first saw Big Fish when I was trying to compile a bucket list. It challenged me to keep thinking well beyond what is ordinary and to strive to always go deeper into the dreams I have inside of me. This life is a grand adventure, and God wants us to think big! And so, like Edward Bloom, I am learning to think bigger than my small pond.
Edward Bloom: There’s a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost… the ship has sailed and only a fool would continue. Truth is… I’ve always been a fool.
Roman Holiday is the perfect antidote for when I feel most constrained by everyday life. It is the story of a love affair between two strangers, a princess and a reporter. Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck are some of my favorite classic actors, and the film is an ode to beautiful Rome, one of my favorite cities in the world. Watching this movie makes me smile at the thought of how I can live a better adventure.
Dr. Bonnachoven: The best thing I know is to do exactly what you wish for a while.
Although Braveheart is far from being historically accurate, it was spot on for inspiration. To watch it is to understand what it means to fight for someone or something you believe in. Braveheart had a big effect on me. I went on to learn more about Scotland and eventually moved there six years later.
William Wallace: Every man dies, not every man really lives.
I have shown some parts of the movie to my daughters so they could get a beautiful glimpse of what courage looks like. This quote captures the essence of not only the movie for most of Cameron Crowe’s films.
Benjamin Mee: You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.
I wrote about Dead Poet’s Society in an earlier post called Raising the Dead Poet’s Society. This movie reminds me that I should be a student of life. The students it portrays are young and eager for life. They are reminders that though I am now in my thirties, I should not lose their spirit. Similarly, the young men of Welton Academy fear failure in the face of their parents sometimes overwhelming expectations. And though today I do not fear the rejection of my parents, I still have fears of failure and often find myself timid and needing a talk from Professor Keating.
Professor John Keating to his students looking at alums from decades ago: They’re not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they’re destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? – - Carpe – - hear it? – - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.
October Sky (1999) (Belief in yourself/Friendship/Father-son relationship)
I wrote about this movie in an earlier post called Being There as a Father in the October Sky. It is one of the best American stories set in the 1950s, and it reminds me that I should never stop dreaming and setting goals.ver stop dreaming and setting goals.
Homer (to his dad): Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it’s not because I’m so different from you either, it’s because I’m the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as tough. I only hope I can be as good a man as you. Sure, Wernher von Braun is a great scientist? but he isn’t my hero.
I have a deep appreciation for our military and the sacrifice they make for ordinary Americans like you and me. Saving Private Ryan captures the service of our American military during World War II. It is an inspiration and a reminder to thank any soldier who has served or is currently serving in our military.
Sergeant Horvath: I don’t know. Part of me thinks the kid’s right. He asks what he’s done to deserve this. He wants to stay here, fine. Let’s leave him and go home. But then another part of me thinks, what if by some miracle we stay, then actually make it out of here. Someday we might look back on this and decide that saving Private Ryan was the one decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful, shitty mess. Like you said, Captain, maybe we do that, we all earn the right to go home.
This is another movie that captures the beauty of Scotland. I was a young Christian when I first saw Chariots of Fire, and it helped me understand what deep conviction looks like. It is a beautiful portrait of a man Eric Liddel loving his God first; thanking him for the ability to run; and rejoicing in the service of his country, Great Britain, and of his true and eternal King.
Eric Liddel: You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It’s hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape – especially if you’ve got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe you’re dinner’s burnt. Maybe you haven’t got a job. So who am I to say, “Believe, have faith,” in the face of life’s realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, “Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me.” If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.
Moneyball (2011) (Overcoming “the way it’s always been done”/business as usual)
As a businessman, I am in a daily battle analyzing what should and should not be done to achieve results. In an ever-changing business world, it is easy to sit in a corner and rely on a comfortable strategy. Anytime I feel stuck in what I am doing in business, I use this movie as a lesson to reject business as usual and take time to strategically think what really needs to happen. On top of that, I am a huge baseball fan, which makes the movie even more enjoyable.
Scout to Billy: We’re all told at some point in time that we can no longer play the children’s game, we just don’t… don’t know when that’s gonna be. Some of us are told at eighteen, some of us are told at forty, but we’re all told.
Atticus Finch is a man of action eager to do what is just in the eyes of God. What man doesn’t want to be like Atticus Finch? As a father of two daughters, I think often about what it means to stand up for what is right. My children pay close attention to not only my words but, more important, my actions. Therefore, I am thankful to Harper Lee for creating such a wonderful character and to Gregory Peck for bringing that on-screen character to life.
Rev. Sykes: Miss Jean Louise. Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father’s passing.
Honorable mention:
Rudy, Good Will Hunting, The Pursuit of Happyness, Invictus, Rocky, Jerry Maguire, and Say Anything. I am sure there are many more but these are the ones that stand out.
What are your top 10 most inspirational movies and why?
Which ones stir your soul and make you want to act?
My friends Roy and Rachel Roper reposted this video on Facebook not long ago and I was surprised that I had not seen it since it occurred a year ago. Please watch this short 2 minute message before you read further. You will see that it speaks for itself.
I believe it took a lot of humility from both Robert Downey Jr. as well as Mel Gibson to publicly live through pain. Hollywood sure knows how to produce drama on-screen as well as off. In the past twenty years, both of these actors have thrown stones at others as well as had them thrown at them. And they paid a terrible price through broken families, damaged careers, health, and legal troubles. As Gibson put it, they have both “hugged the cactus” in life. Most of Hollywood abandoned them in their time of dire need. Thankfully, we all love a comeback story and I think scenes like this show us that grace can happen in the most unlikely places, especially Hollywood. I was in tears witnessing what real loyalty, forgiveness, and love looked like through their stories. God was not done with their stories yet because grace was at work.
This video makes me ask tough questions of myself.
Do I stand up for my friends?
Do I ‘really’ forgive those who have hurt me?
Do I really understand grace?
There are times when I’ve felt like I’m in life’s rut thinking it will never get better. Look back at your life and I’m sure there have been times when you may have felt the same. I am thankful I haven’t been in such an extreme position as Downey Jr. and Gibson but their stories are a beautiful illustration of God’s grace.
Thank God we don’t have to hug the cactus forever when our savior is always there for the warmest hug. Grace is always the best hug.
If you know me personally or have read my posts before, you’ll discover that my life is shaped heavily by the lessons of Sir Winston Churchill. If you have read anything about him, you probably learned about the Prime Minister Winston Churchill of World War II or the Cold War. Yet, the hidden gem of Winston Churchill is found in his ” wilderness years.”
In the Spring of 1929 when the Conservative Party lost the General Election in Great Britain and the 54-year old Winston Churchill stepped down as the Chancellor of the Exchequer, he had served in every major British Cabinet post except Foreign Secretary and Prime Minister. Churchill was never popular with the Conservative Party’s rank and file or its leaders thus he became marginalized throughout the 1930s leading up to World War II. He was in his wilderness.
These “Churchill wilderness” years are well represented by history books but my favorite portrayal of him on-screen during those years was by Albert Finney in The Gathering Storm (2002). In the movie, despite his political impotency, Churchill is the one of the few who most clearly (and accurately) sees Hitler’s Germany rearming and rising as a threat. By speaking up he becomes marginalized and dismissed as a war-mongerer. In addition, during those years he was having financial struggles and left to determine if he had any life left in him politically. Those were the years of building strength and courage to prepare for what was coming, the gathering storm. Thank God that our brave Sir Winston survived those years as they helped to fully develop the man who would lead (and arguably save) Britain in World War II.
Churchill brings encouragement to me in my wilderness. I have felt lately that I’m in it as well and trying to figure out a next stage of life and what God wants next for me. I am so thankful for this time because I can see God working despite not knowing the ending of this chapter. From one wilderness to another, Churchill is still teaching me. I am thankful for this wilderness.
The wilderness teaches us to
See more clearly because we are acutely seeking for purpose. We are thinking about what matters most in life.
Become morethoughtful in our writing, our personal relationships, and our prayer life.
Seek God for guidance. It is a time to remember that we are not alone. That is why God reminds us of why Jesus went into the wilderness. It was in preparation for something big.
Be patient. We need to slow down and embrace life’s meaningful development process.
Realize our potential. God loves seeing victory through you.
Be thankful for the journey.
Great stories are written in wilderness. Embrace it.
These are all things I have heard in the past few weeks from friends, colleagues, my daughters, yes even from my mouth. My daughters get so frustrated especially when they can’t make something work. They scream “I can’t do it, Daddy” and literally are screaming. I have to remind them about how much I don’t like the word “can’t” and then try to help. Truth is, when I’m at work and catch myself being down about something at work or with friends. I’ve got a new name for negative talk and I have to remind myself of it each time I catch myself doing it.
In the movie, The Muppets (2011), the billionaire Tex Richman introduced the iconic anti-group,
“Meet the Moopets: A hard, cynical act for a hard, cynical world.”
The Moopets were everything anti from what the positive and loving Muppets are. They are negative personality of each character. They are cynical, they are bullies, they are dangerous, and only care about themselves. They are “cynical” as Tex Richman called them.
Cynicism is something that is so easy to conform to. The 2012 election sure proved that for us all. I had a discussion with a friend this week about when we feel like we can’t handle life’s circumstances, we suddenly become down about it. We complain. We blame. We hate. Then we are driving and see an “IGBOK” bumper sticker. “It’s Gonna Be OK.” My mom used to remind me of this when I was a kid and as I encounter more things in life, I remember her simple, yet profound wisdom that wraps so many car bumpers.
When Conan O’Brien’s fans were in revolt because he was losing The Tonight Show back to Jay Leno and the forces that be at NBC, here was his response.
All I ask of you, especially young people…is one thing. Please don’t be cynical,” O’Brien said. “I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen.
Yes indeed, the cynics were shunned. Amazing things happen because you are suddenly free to go after what God really wants you to do. And what happens next?
Colossians 2:6-7 reminds us,
So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
Knowing what Christ did for us on the cross is enough to be thankful for.
Let’s give up the Moopets. Be a real Muppet and be thankful.
For most of my life I wondered why there wasn’t a quality movie that captured our beloved 16th President, Abraham Lincoln. Thank God we are almost there. From what I have learned, this movie was not easy to make. Many have tried to capture Lincoln and the challenges he faced, endured, and overcame in his life and presidency.
Doris Kearns Goodwin paved the away with her outstanding storytelling of the relationship Lincoln had with his cabinet members during the Civil War in the acclaimed book Team of Rivals (Simon & Schuster, 2006). Well, our prayers were answered when Steven Spielberg to direct this story and classic method actor Daniel Day-Lewis. I was in tears watching the movie trailer and you’ll see why. The movie is simply called Lincoln (2012).
The movie comes out this November, after our national election. I wish it could come out sooner to help the political climate but I can also understand why this will be more successful releasing then. No matter who wins this election, there will be a heated political climate and perhaps this movie will help unite in the spirit of Lincoln.
There is so much we can learn from our beloved Abraham Lincoln. One of my favorite things I learned about Lincoln in college was that when he would get so frustrated with his generals or another politican, he would sit down and write them a letter. I can imagine that letter would be filled with all sorts of frustration, perhaps even a cuss word or two. After he finished those letters, he would simply put it in his desk or throw it away. He would never send it. What a lesson in restraint while letting your emotions be released. No matter your occupation, try practicing that for a while and you’ll be amazed in how much it helps.
Lincoln is the Jesus of politics. We quote him a lot. We adore him in pictures. We work his name into conversations, letters, and speeches. We rarely practice what he preached, unfortunately. If we were to sum up Lincoln in lessons to learn, it would be the following:
Walt Whitman’s poem O Captain! My Captain! was a beautiful yet somber ode to our dear President after he was assassinated. It is a reminder to never forget what we have learned from him and appreciate his sacrifice for us.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells; Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
What Lincoln teaches me today is that unity and standing up for what is right can both exist. It is not over-idealistic. It can happen even despite great difficulties and if it were easy, it wouldn’t be worth fighting for in life. As we approach yet another heated election I pray for all of us to calm our rhetoric and look back to what our Captain has taught us. Thank you O Captain.
What have you learned from President Abraham Lincoln? What excites you about this movie?
P.S. I’m also excited about Stephen Mansfield’s book about his faith coming out at the same time, Lincoln’s Battle with God (Thomas Nelson, 2012). Stephen will be the absolute best person to tell Lincoln’s story of faith.
The scene was this. I took a morning bus ride from Edinburgh to Glasgow. I was to either stay in the confines of beautiful Edinburgh, complete with medieval history and beautiful scenery, or I could make my way to Glasgow, a city full of the unknown. Glasgow was a city that most tourist maps encouraged you to skip or simply wrote that it was a scene of a 50 people being trampled in a football (soccer) match or was a place you had to go through to make it to the west highlands. That was exactly why I needed to be there. Edinburgh was safe. Glasgow was wild. Besides, I had already been to Edinburgh many times and it was time to move forward. It was time to go away. Away from my fellow Americans. Away from the Away from the expected.
Once I arrived in Glasgow after a short bus trip, I had picked out a hostel to stay in that night and got in a taxi to take me a couple of miles to a beautiful Victorian area overlooking Kelvingrove Park called Park Terrace. Within a minute, I learned that the hostel was full. Glasgow the type of city that only had a one or two hostels because it didn’t attract many cheap post-college students like me. Those who bypassed Glasgow were in essence smarter than me. I was disappointed that the only hostel I knew in town was full but when I stepped outside, the taxi had left and I was left with all my bags on my shoulders to look over the misty and shadowy Kelvingrove Park and see gothic-looking Glasgow University on the other side. Glasgow University is a place that only Tim Burton or J K Rowling could have dreamed of. I looked into the depths of the park and fear crept up on me.
So I began walking through the park, through the valley, over the Kelvin river, and up the next hill to meet the university steps. I quickly found another taxi that helped me find another hostel next to campus and that became my home for the next couple months.
Within a week I got a job at a coffee shop and took up a research position at Glasgow University. God had provided. My journey in Glasgow left me inspired and each time I feel afraid to take a step, I think back to the prayer I said to God at the site overlooking Kelvingrove Park. Take a look above. It is mysterious and daunting but there is something in it that says “go there” and see.
Much like how C.S. Lewis was portrayed in the play and movie Shadowlands (1993), I felt like I was recovering from years of safety and comfort and doing what was expected of me.
Considering the extreme challenges I know so many friends of mine have suffered, it would be insensitive of me to make you think it was a grand sacrifice of mine to go to Glasgow. In fact, I knew that even something happened, I could simply get on a plane and go home. No one told me but something about what happened in Glasgow is that it was necessary to experience discomfort and in some instances, suffer. The same goes for love and any other adventure in life as C.S. Lewis experienced. In the movie, Jack (Lewis) shares,
Why love, if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore: only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I’ve been given the choice: as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.
Pain is part of life. I can’t explain it completely except that it seems natural and necessary in our development as people. After all, Christ suffered for us so who are we to think that we shouldn’t suffer even a fraction of what he experience? Years before the loss of his wife, Lewis described in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe that we must move our way through the dark wardrobe to enter the land of adventure, Narnia. It requires opening the dark door and forcing ourselves through until we see the light.
Tell me about an experience you had when you felt you truly stepped into the unknown. Was there fear, pain, victory, etc.?
“Dad, that’s a bad habit” my daughter said to me as she caught me biting my nails when I was driving her to school. My daughter has become a version of Statler and Waldorf, the Muppet hecklers. She loves to walk around and tell people that they shouldn’t be smoking, biting their nails, or running inside. It is funny right up until she shouts it out in a crowd and the staring and laughter begins at my expense. I am always tempted to remind her of her own indiscretions but what more could a dad say when he’s reminded of his issues by a 4-year-old?
So I listen.
My kids are are a reminder that we need grace. Grace is the foundation of how we live a life of faith in Jesus. We don’t deserve it but we need it. Kids need it. Good Lord, parents need it. My friend Phil Davis reminded me that as parents we are constantly in a teaching and disciplining mode. Yes, sometimes we screw up in the way we parent and we pray that our kids even forgive us. That starts by asking our own Father for forgiveness as we learn to control our own tempers. Embracing patience is one of my toughest challenges as a parent and my kids love testing it. I now smile each time my kids remind me that I’m biting my nails. I even caught myself biting my nails as I write this. Sheesh.
I’d like to say that I truly understood grace when I became a Christian. I remember being on a spiritual high the week after I got back from Young Life camp in the summer of 1994. I had accepted Christ into my heart at camp and came home thinking I could fly. That flight was short-lived the first week back as I remember having a fight with my parents and writing in my journal about how bad I felt hurting them. It was as if the week before had encountered a train wreck of emotion through hurt, pain, and ultimately guilt. I don’t even remember what the fight was about but I do remember what happened next. God showed his grace through my own parents that week and I think helped make more sense of what happened at camp the week before. Grace was at work.
I’m reading Max Lucado’s upcoming book Grace (Thomas Nelson, 2012), which is helping to more fully understand this wild grace.
God’s grace has a drenching about it. A wildeness about it. A white-water, riptide, turn-you-upside downness about it. Grace comes after you. It rewires you. From insecure to God secure. From regret riddled to better-because-of-it. From afraid to die to ready to fly.
Grace is the voice that calls us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off.
Paul reminds us where this grace comes from in Ephesians 2:8 NIV,
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.
This post isn’t meant to be a confession but an acknowledgement that grace is real and available for those who don’t deserve it. We aren’t meant to fully understand this grace especially when it is given to murderers and molesters. I am usually so stubborn and I don’t ask for grace but God knows what I truly need. He doesn’t even wait and a long time ago he gave us his son Jesus as that grace. He freely gives it to you and me. Take this gift and run with it and tell the story.
PS One of my favorite movies/musicals that showcases grace better than any other is Les Miserables (1998). There is even a new version coming out later this year starring Hugh Jackman. I cannot wait.
I was at the supermarket the other after a long day of work and had a long list of weekly groceries. One of our meals consisted of required securing of good ole American hot dogs and buns to match. I am surprised to find that not much has changed in the quantity matching of hot dogs and buns since George Banks’ rant in the classic movie Father of the Bride (1991). Any father goes through a moment or two like this. If you have never seen this scene, you will relate when things get tough trying to take care of everyone. We’ve all earned the right from time to time to lose it like George.
George Banks sums it up in the movie,
You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. An adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine. Then comes the day when she wants to get her ears pierced, and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. From that moment on, you are in a constant panic. You worry about her meeting the wrong kind of guy, the kind of guy who only wants one thing, and you know exactly what that one thing is, because it’s the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then, you stop worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. That’s the greatest fear of all, because, then you lose her.
I have 2 and 4-year-old daughters. I sure hope I’m not that point of giving them away like George Banks. I feel his similar sentiment and of course it matters to me who they could potentially marry one day. That is years away of course and even if they choose to never get married I must prepare for that. There is a different loss I need to prepare for, which is independence from both mom and dad. This week I felt a bit of what George described when I dropped my oldest daughter Madelyn off at her new school for Junior Kindergarten. Yes, it is only a three-day school this year but it represented a step toward becoming more of an individual that gradually won’t need me like she does now.
Unless they are in denial, any mother or father understands that their job to raise children is the hardest occupation they will have in life. Forget the spreadsheets, TPS reports, or whatever you do in life for a day job.
In the past 5 years I’ve discovered that my greatest challenge is sharing who Jesus Christ is to my kids amidst all of life’s busyness. I didn’t know who Jesus really was until I was 15 but it has been my prayer since both my girls were born for them to understand and trust in Christ in their circumstances. Their mother nor I will be there for every difficult moment and I can guarantee life will be have plenty of them. I want them to recognize that they are more than a bride here on earth but one being prepared for their savior, Jesus.
Part of God’s work is allowing me to let go and trust him in this process and allow him to be the real “father of the bride”. The issue is in my heart and how I need to let go over time. Our kids are God’s kids and the more I recognize that, the more freedom I have to be a good father and allow God to work.
God help us all, right?
If you are parent, what have you learned in “letting go” of your kids?
If you have not seen the movie, Taking Chance (2009), it is a must for any American to get a unique perspective on how to treat military who are lost through the eyes of a funeral escort. Based on the true story, Kevin Bacon plays a Marine Colonel who served in Desert Storm in 1991 but for several reasons, mainly having a young family and served so long in the military, decided to focus on serving in 2003-4 in the mainland. He felt guilty not going over to Iraq or Afghanistan and made the decision to escort this young man who perished, Chance Phelps, to his family. It was highly uncommon for a high-ranking officer like him to escort a PFC. Along the way he witnesses many things that helped him understand why he needed to do this and honor those who fought in his place. It was as if a parade of honor opened up on the week-long trip to take Chance home. Kevin Bacon’s character was the escort of a hero.
Today I am 34 and amazed at the drive and sacrifice of friends and so many others younger than me who have fought and in some cases died in Iraq and Afghanistan. Regardless of your political thoughts on war, there is something special about serving your country, especially the military. I come from a long line of family that have served in the military and as a writer I am always interested in listening to them and helping tell their story.
Previously, I have written my thoughts on the military and why I did not serve. I recognize that I’m not off the hook. Neither are you if you did not serve.
The need us and we need them. Even though we don’t serve, how should we act? Here are seven helpful ways we all can make a difference for those who served:
Help give them purpose. A job is just a job but a purpose in a job can have eternal impact. The group,The Mission Continues is focused on that and I’d love to find ways to help them more. If you are an employer, give each resume or meeting with a veteran a second look. Their skills may not look standard but they most likely understand hard work and leadership better than anyone else.
Listen. I can only imagine what these young men and women have gone through and plenty suffer from PTSD. Engage them and listen to their stories. They may not want to tell you much but give them your all. It is therapy sometimes for them to share and we also show respect by hearing them out.
Plant flags: Plant flags with Boy Scouts during Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Veteran’s Day at National Cemeteries. My father helps The Veterans of The Battle of the Bulge do this and other things to help.
Give up your seat: If you are a traveling businessperson and have a great seat on a plane, especially in 1st Class, give up your seat for a veteran or uniformed soldier.
Give a Homecoming Party: If you aren’t disgusted by the way some Vietnam veterans were treated when coming home, then we have an opportunity as this generation to show what we’re made of and honor them properly. To my knowledge, The Mission Continues was the first major entity to organize an Iraq homecoming parade for soldiers in St. Louis in 2012 and it drew in the hundreds of thousands. Wow.
Teach your kids: If you have children, encourage your kids to find a unique way to help troops. When she was around 10 years old, my cousin Ryan and Mandy’s daughter Victoria asked friends to come to her birthday and instead of bringing presents, give money to supporting troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan with presents and supplies. She raised almost $2,000. What an example and what legacy go give our children.
Last, never stop praying for them.
The victory in serving them well comes with action.
Stand up and serve them as they have served you.
What are some other great ways you see to help veterans?
I am a thirty-something, publishing and life explorer living in Nashville, Tennessee. I am happily married and have two wonderful children.
www.DavidMSchroeder.com
