The Way To Be Discomfortably Numb
Our house is in the middle of a renovation and I wish I could say it was easy. Brooke and I went back and forth for years whether we should do it but decided for the long-term use of our house, it would be worth the pain. We are definitely in cramped conditions with two young children and not having our usual amenities setup. The kids are much harder to parent and it has been easy for us to shout out in frustration and ask this,
“Why is it so hard, God?”
Perspective hit me with a 2 X 4 today at church when we saw a casual friend who just had her 5th child. She was in tears when she saw Brooke. I found out later that her family was having trouble making ends meet and living with her in-laws. I cannot imagine how uncomfortable and frustrating that must be. Our discomfort was diminished in that moment.
We as Americans thrive on being comfortable. We set the thermostat at 70, we buy nice safe cars, we stay at our nice homes to watch a lot of movies and we drive to our churches without being shot at (hopefully). We have medication for just about everything in life to make us more “comfortable.” For the past few years there has been a war on this so-called financial group, the “one percent”. What amuses me is that even those who are complaining about the one percent are the one percent of the world. They just don’t look close enough in the mirror to see it. You who are reading this are part of the one percent so deal with it.
I have read about several POWs who were forced to endure years of living in cramped conditions only to brought out to be beaten. Watch the movie, Amistad (1997) and you’ll get a glimpse of what it was like as a slave being transported to the new world. Go visit any third world country and you’ll see dozens of people living in space smaller than your apartment. I’m tired of complaining and I’m sorry for you having to hear it.
Why do we complain when something doesn’t feel just right?
Why do we complain so much about not having things just the way we want them?
Why? We are discomfortably numb about life.
Luke 9:23: Then he said to them all,
Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
I believe that God calls us to a hard life as Jesus commanded his disciples. It is harder for some more than others but in this discomfort God shows up.
God calls us to discomfort to gain perspective and recognize the possibilities of life.
When we fully understand this perspective, we are awake to God’s work in us and we can move forward. The next time I catch myself complaining about things, I pray for the courage to embrace this discomfort.
What about you?
How has God taught you through the hard times? Through the discomfort?
Finding Joy with Mumford and Sons
Recently Brooke and I saw Mumford and Sons at the famous Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. I’d been a fan of theirs for a while but the experience seeing them live is something I will not forget. There were a few things that stuck out but one in particular.
They seemed to love what they were doing and here is why:
- There were smiles and laughter during the entire evening by all.
- Their harmonies reinforced that they are not centered around one person.
- They invited locals to play with them to bring connection to the community.
- They invited the audience to be a part of what they were doing and were gracious
- They danced, they were loud, and gave an unforgettable experience
The day of the show, the band had flown to Nashville all the way from London, England. They must have been exhausted from the trip and I can imagine for any band that a live show can be a drag when you are not sleeping much. They didn’t show any discontent whatsoever and seemed incredibly excited to play at The Ryman. I learned that Mumford and Sons perform like this at every show. It is now weeks later but their joy and enthusiasm stays with me.
What if in life I approached all things this same way as Mumford?
Life is not always the same type of art but can we aspire for that same type of joy?
I have plenty of friends going through very difficult circumstances so a post like this could be interpreted as insensitive. I’ve learned through time and through the Bible that I should expect trials and suffering. Personally life is not particularly easy now but compared to so many others, all is well in perspective. It is draining when you are going through any sort of pain but when you stop to look up and around you, you can see the light. I have a friend at work who said her nine-year old son was so worried about life, especially dying. I remember having strange feelings like that as a kid. It seemed irrational to me now but then it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. Even with little responsibility, there is something about us that wants to worry and dwell on the negative. What does it get us?
I have noticed a common ebb and flow in life. It is an up and down of emotions and it is easy to get trapped in a valley. Just watch cable news and you’ll be never escape it. Some stay in that valley longer than others but in my experience the more I dwell on the fact that I’m in a rut the longer I stay there. James reminds us in this way in his epistle.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.-James 1:2-4 (NIV)
It’s a reminder that we’re not meant to live an easy life.
There is a reason for our pain because God refines us in the process and shows us what joy is meant to be. I want to live with joy the way God designed me. It has caused me to listen carefully to him for when he whispers through my experiences. C.S. Lewis reminds us,
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.-The Problem of Pain
Next time I am feeling down I will be reminded of that Mumford and Sons night, go to prayer, read God’s word and find that joy.
It comes down to a choice. Choose joy.
Not So “Tweet” Reactions…
We live in a reactionary culture; in church, politics, sports, and just about everything in-between. The firing of ESPN’s headline writer Anthony Federico is the latest example of this.
I am the problem. Here is why.
After New York Knicks’ Jeremy Lin’s first loss as a starter, Federico wrote that there was a “Chink in the chain”. Jeremy Lin is of Taiwanese descent so to me and many others, the headline was cutesy racism that went overboard and it just made me mad. Here was my reaction on twitter the morning after reading (from other media sources) about the ESPN headline issue:
This was my reaction. Instead it was just a ”reaction to a reaction” because all I did was pay attention to what everyone else was saying, especially the media, civil rights groups, etc. I joined an online mob.
The ESPN headline writer was fired soon that day. I learned that Headline writers like Frederico have to come up with quick headlines every few minutes. Federico claimed that it was an “honest mistake”. Saturday Night Live did a great job with their sketch highlighting the hypocrisy of who can say what about races and get away with it.
Messages like mine are what puts ESPN in a position to fire someone without learning more and listening to all sides about why this happened. ESPN acted in cowardly fear. They were wrong and I was wrong. Who gets hurt? A promising young career is knocked down in the form of Anthony Federico, the 26-year-old who posted this headline. Anthony Federico issued this incredible apology after he was fired by ESPN. Read it here. I was impressed with his candor, thoughtfulness, regret, but also a helpful explanation about how it happened. He happens to be a Christian, which is relevant because I understand more about why he did this. Jeremy Lin is also a prominent Christian, which makes the media firestorm even worse.
After reading Anthony Federico’s response, it caused me to look deep in the mirror. I failed. I reacted. I was lazy and didn’t take the time to understand all sides of this story. I can think of dozens and dozens of instances where I have jumped to conclusion too quickly and people got hurt. Most of the time I was wrong and should know better. What I learned today is that I should have more of the character of Anthony Federico. I’ll leave you with his words:
My solace in this is that ‘all things work together for good for those who love the Lord.’ I praise God equally in the good times and the bad times.
Anthony, I am sorry. You don’t deserve this. We all owe you this apology. Please forgive us all.
Follow Anthony on twitter, he seems like a great guy. @antfeds
Are you a Scout or a Statistician? (Innovate Like Moneyball Part 2)
This post is Innovate Like Moneyball Part 2 so try to read that first.
I recently heard a great spot on NPR from Frank DeFord about the fascination with Jeremy Lin, the Asian-American New York Knicks basketball sensation. Jeremy Lin has become the latest version of Tim Tebow. Anyone looking at his previous stats would say he was an average backup player to having no chance at an NBA career at all. Pretty soon, scouts will be saying things about their recruits as having “The Lin Factor”. It’s that special thing about him that gets fans excited while executing on the court (or field) in an amazing way.
In Moneyball fashion, can a statistician find a Jeremy Lin?
Perhaps, but it would be a long shot and they’d need some divine help. Here is why.
Life and business can be only calculated so much. I’m asked all the time in marketing from clients how we can have better “quantifiable” results. It always amuses me because a client definitely wants life to be put together in an organized fashion that they can control like a wizard. Don’t we all, especially when money and reputation is at stake?
Left photo: Tim Tebow. Credit: Barry Gutierrez / Associated Press Right photo: Jeremy Lin. Credit: Frank Gunn / Associated Press
A statistician would say that people like Doug Flutie, Tim Tebow, or Jeremy Lin are flukes. They rose to the occasion when given the chance and delivered but their overall stats might be considered mediocre.
Ultimately life and business should be both about quantifiable and qualitative results. That is how the best research is done to understand stats and behavior.
Clients say they want the “Lin Factor”,”Apple Factor”, or “Nike Factor” for their brand.
Can you quantify how to get that? That’s not the point. We should celebrate the statistician and the scout equally. When working well together, that “Factor” can happen and I’ve seen it time and time again with teams I am a part of.
The result can be “greatness”. And you know it when you see it.
Why I Hate Clowns (and you should too)
I hate clowns. Perhaps you should too.
This weekend Brooke and I will go on our annual pilgrimage with the kids downtown Nashville to see The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. Yes, this is our third year of the madness. The kids absolutely love the animals and acrobats making death-defying flips in the air. But every year we see those ridiculous clowns. We break out in a cold sweat when they approach us. I try to avoid hating anything but for some reason I am haunted by these crazies. For crying out loud there is a dedicated website dedicated to “clown hatred.” It explains the rationale about clowns (my emphasis added):
They scare little kids (mine), they cause neurosis in some adults (me), they have big floppy feet (I have big feet, are they making fun of me?), they try to fit too many of their kind in a car, I could go on and on.
It was the movie Poltergeist (1982) that ruined me. The scene where the clown disappears from the chair across from the boy and then attacks him is a recurring nightmare. I think after I saw that movie, I threw every stuffed animal clown I had in the house and quickly gave up watching Bozo the Clown. Then Stephen King had to rub it in my face with the book/movie, IT. Good grief.
I simply hate clowns. Sorry, it’s personal. There was a period of time as a kid when I was playing with my G.I. Joes and I would find unique ways to kill my stuffed animal clowns. I am sure some of them are nice and do some good things like attempt to cheer up children in hospitals. But I don’t buy it.
Truth is, I am a clown. I wear the mask of a clown too often. I make all sorts of facial expressions to make you think better of me. I try to entertain and show a lot of color but ultimately look just like every other clown out there. I hide behind the makeup. I try to be someone or something else.
The beautiful yet creepy song “John Wayne Gacy” written by Sufjan Stevens has a haunting line that always makes the hair on my arms stand up. The notorious Chicago area serial killer John Wayne Gacy often dressed up as a clown to lure his victims. Sufjan saw something deeper at heart and expressed it in this line,
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floor boards
For the secrets I have hid
So I may not be a serial killer but what do I hide? As a culture, I think we spend a lot of time and energy analyzing the sin of everyone else. I am incredibly guilty of that. The song is a reminder that this mask I put on each day represents the sin of my life. Until I take off this mask and makeup, I cannot truly be the person God wants me to be. I am just a floppy-shoed fraud until then.
I take splice in 1 Samuel 16:7
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
I pray every day for an honest heart that shows compassion, love and the ‘real’ me God wants in this world. May you as well.
What about you? Any clown stories you need to get off your chest?
Are you not entertained?
“Are you not entertained?”
These were the words shouted by Maximus in the amazing movie, Gladiator (2000). After slaying Roman soldiers in The Coliseum, former General and now slave Maximus gave them what they wanted. He gave them entertainment.
I am an entertainment and information junkie. Pre-digital age, I could spend hours in a library or a Barnes & Noble just filling my brain with any type of information possible. I even subscribe to Entertainment Weekly as it is my magazine candy. How appropriate.
I read blog post after post about being distracted by the entertainment of this world. I’m the guiltiest of the guilty when it comes to this. I often wonder what I would do if I couldn’t access “entertainment” and “information” at every moment? To illustrate my point, I’ve got ESPN on in the background as I writes this (cue me taking a moment to turn the tv off and actually focus on writing this to avoid extreme hypocrisy). It hit me how much I try to cram in so much information into each moment when my body, heart, and mind can’t process it fast enough. I’m simply not created to effectively keep up with this information madness.
I can feel God saying in my life, “Dave, you need to have balance. Focus on me first and slow down.”
Today’s reading from My Utmost for His Highest put it into perspective for me,
It is not a question of giving up sin, but of giving up my right to myself, my natural independence, and my self-will. This is where the battle has to be fought. The things that are right, noble, and good from the natural standpoint are the very things that keep us from being God’s best.
But is it sin to be constantly distracted? By my experience is sure feels like it. Oswald Chambers points out that even though some of the things we fill our lives with are good, they still keep us at a distance from God. It keeps us from the “best” God wants for us. I fear being behind in the information age but I’m reminded by God in his whispers that I need to focus on Him first to make sense of it all. So that leaves me with this commitment:
I’m going to spend more time thinking.
I’m going to spend more time dreaming.
I’m going to spend more time praying.
After that, I have a stack of books (physical and digital) that I have waiting to read. He will bless in that time after spending time first with Him.
Furthermore in My Utmost,
If we do not purposely sacrifice the natural, the supernatural can never become natural to us. There is no high or easy road.
God gave us Matthew 6:33 for a reason:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
It is not easy. It is not supposed to be but know that you are not alone in this daily if not minute by minute battle. But I know in those moments when I do seek him first, the blessing is beyond imagination compared to any entertainment.
What is your pastor driving?
I’ve never been a car junkie. Don’t get me wrong, I completely appreciate a beautiful automobile that can accelerate like an F-16. I have always been amused by the reasons someone buys their car. Ask a financial expert and they will tell you that what you drive tells a lot about how you view your personal finances.
I often wonder how much a pastor thinks about what he drives. If I were a pastor, I would probably be incredibly insecure about how people viewed my ride. What does it say about their heart? When a pastor asks people to give to the church, do they question where the money “really” is going? If they preach about giving to the poor, are they doing the same? If their church has exceeded 2000 attendance, can they get that suped-up sports car? Or is their car too sissy? Too bold? Even worse, are they driving their wife’s Mary Kay pink Cadillac? If you are a pastor reading this, I can only imagine how many things you are judged upon.
Not long ago I saw a pastor driving around in this amazing 330 BMW. I’m not even sure what my pastor drives to be honest. I’d like to think that he drives something modest but should I even care? Whether you are pastor or not, the class-warfarist in me thinks that when faced with the choice in traffic whether to let a Ford Fusion or a Mercedes into my lane, sorry Heir Mercedes, you are going to have to wait.
For me I ask if I should purposefully drive a Yugo, a beat up old sedan, or a pickup truck? A pickup truck might annoy my more liberal friends saying I was wasting gas and not using it to haul stuff on a regular basis. If I had an SUV, well…how American. You suburban gas guzzling yuppie pastor. So here I am…my wife and I have a minivan, which we love and loathe. I don’t need to explain why. If you have kids, you get it.
I read a few years ago about Kurt Warner after he received his big contract from the St. Louis Rams, he didn’t really upgrade his car, he just made sure he had a safe SUV since he had a bunch of kids. I’m pretty practical like that but then again I bought a lottery ticket the other day and I couldn’t help but think what car I would purchase if I actually won. The act of buying a lottery ticket says a lot about my heart I suppose.
I drive a 2008 Honda Accord, which I bought for its practicality and reliability. My grandfather Papa Jack worked for General Motors for forty years and I recently. I felt like a complete family letdown for buying a Japanese car but the truth is and we all know that our American manufacturers haven’t necessarily had their act together the past few years. I’m starting to see a turnaround from them so when I need another car, I’ll definitely consider “Made in the USA.” Recently my grandmother said that Papa Jack said he secretly always wanted to have a Volkswagen. That made me smile.
I work in publishing with that comes a lot of interaction with pastors. Many of these pastors are some amazing people. Some of them do sacrificial things like not taking a church salary and only utilizing their book royalties. I’ve seen every type of car driven by them but have never been bold enough to ask. So if you are clergy, beware, I’ll be asking you what you drive this week.
So, what is your pastor driving? Ever asked him (or her) why?
What about you? What do you drive and why?
Learnings from The King’s Speech & The Social Network
This past week I’ve watched two fantastic films: The Social Network and The King’s Speech. Both are tremendous works of cinematic art. Both were successful at the Golden Globes and most likely will do well at the Oscars. Most importantly, they tackle some key issues that make the movies relatable and by all means fit in the “great” category.
The themes of these films are classic Shakespearian: Friendship, trust/betrayal, duty, love, insecurity, and courage.
As a man these themes came right out from the screen and hit me in the heart.
The Social Network is a breakdown of the things that can make men great.
The King’s Speech is a build up to those things that do.
They are equally important to learn from.
In life I’ve learned that every person is flawed. It’s what one does to overcome it that matters.
Here is what I learned from these core themes:
Friendship. Find your Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush’s character). He is the guy we all want to turn to in life.
Duty. Sometimes whether we don’t feel like we deserve to be in a certain position (or don’t want it), we must rise up to honor those before us.
Courage. Know that you can overcome anything with the help of others and the willingness to risk. Stand up for what you believe in. It’s not supposed to be easy.
Trust/Betrayal. Be aware of those around you. We’ve all been betrayed. It is human nature to a degree. I’ve betrayed friends before unfortunately. Ask forgiveness and forgive but learn. Trust can be earned back over time.
Insecurity. We don’t have it all together. No one does. Be open about that and trust in God, in others who love you, and remember that you’re not alone.
Love. Need I say more.
If you haven’t seen these movies, please do.
I’m challenged by the deeper themes here. What about you?
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